forget the ex boyfriends. I have truly found the guy that I could say is mine. He makes me so happy and can always bring a smile to my face (most of the time.) Yes, we have our ups and downs, but what relationship doesn’t?! I think it is a great to have a guy that you can call your boyfriend and your best friend at the same time. Nothing has ever made me this happy before, until I met him, and I wouldn’t change anything for the world.
We started dating in April 2011, and we just celebrated our 7th month together on the 15th of this month. In May 2012, we will be moving together to Eugene Oregon to start a future hopefully, beginning with finishing school and getting a puppy together, a cute little white boxer with the genuine black dot around his eye. (: I couldn’t ask for anyone better to wake up to every morning next to me, to spend time together all day and all night long, someone I can look at and just smile and know he’s all mine.
never will i look back and regret this relationship, even if it does end badly, because he has indented a part on my heart, and will forever stay there.
i love you shawn.
(Source: staypozitive)
my life story right now
my cousin, my hero.
sitting at work terribly bored.
Day:
7:30 am, WAKE UP
9:00 am, OPENED STARBUCKS
2:00 pm, LEFT STARBUCKS
4:00 pm, STARTED WORK AT BILTMORE COUNTRY CLLUB
9:00 pm, LEAVE BILTMORE COUNTRY CLUB
9:30 pm, ARRIVE AT THE APARTMENT
9:31 pm, DRINK A MARGARITA
extremely non-exciting.
Sometimes I wish there was a fast forward button on your life, only to see what happens next and where I will be in a day, a week, a month, a year. Even though I ask of this, this does not mean I do not cherish every moment I have and am thankful for my life and who is in my life. It merely means that I want to be prepared, prepared for failure, heart break, excitement, success, etc. and then of course rewind so I can shape my life to be better than it should. I am thankful for the life God has given me and the opportunities he has provided me throughout my life on Earth so far. He has given me the perfect family to love and care for, a perfect boyfriend that will soon be a husband, and perfect friends that will support me throughout my battles and throughout my life. They are here to guide me and give me support no matter the situation. They will not give up on me as I will do the same towards them, and we will all shape each other’s lives in different ways. I have realized how important life has become to me once I lost my cousin Thomas Flatley. He was only twenty-four years young, and had a full successful life ahead of him, and yet one night turned everyone’s lives in the wrong direction. While his life ended, our lives paused in a moment that we all pray would never happen. The saddest thing is walking up to a cascat and not even being able to recognize the loved one, and yet that will be the last memory you have of them. I try and think about all the positive aspects of his life and how he influenced me to strive for the better, and yet, it still hurts when I am able to picture myself watching the car drive my cousin away forever and that seeing him in the cascat would be the last time I will ever see him until I meet him again in Heaven. My last great memory of him was standing in my hallway on Christmas Eve saying goodbye, and he ended up tickling me until I almost peed my pants. I also remember him playing kinects with the little kids on the floor in the living room while everyone watched and smiled and giggled. I’m not sad anymore to tell you the truth, I’m more relieved than anything. Relieved to know that someone so close is at the safest point in their life possible, and he will always be looking down upon me and guiding me through the good and through the bad. I do not mourn, I do cry. I do not pout, I do smile. I do not yell, I do pray. and forever will Thomas be in my heart, my life, my eyes, and my future. Everything I do, will be for him, but most importantly with him.
I love you Thomas William Flatley, may the angels lead you in and I will be seeing you soon enough.
“You have to want to succeed, as much as you want to breathe.”
amazing…
that is how i would describe my life right now if i had to choose one word. I have a wonderful boyfriend, shawn, and we’ve been dating for a couple months now and how things turned out, we have an apartment together now. (: we’re also looking to add a dog to the family! my life has had it’s ups and downs but i always am strong enough to get through the hard times and even the good times. with my cousin passing in January, a lot has changed since then and my thoughts and beliefs on life have changed tremendously. I always try to have a positive outlook now and i am striving for success, because my cousin never gave up on anything he did and he always strived to be the best and to help the rest. honestly, if my life had to end today, i would die a happy woman, knowing that my family, friends, boyfriend, etc. all love me and that i would be able to see my cousin again and sooner or later see everyone else again too.
overall, i’m happy, and i’m promising myself i am not going to change that.
i don’t know who i am anymore. i don’t know who i have become. i wish i knew, but i don’t and i don’t think anyone does anymore. i think ever since my cousin passed away, i’ve changed, and not for the better. i’m not strong or confident anymore. i feel like a wasted space on earth at the moment. i feel like everything i do always comes with a bad outcome or a disappointment from someone. i have no motivation anymore.
help me.
sitting, waiting for class, I see all these people pass me by, and the likely chance of ever talking to any of them is a 1%. so many different people, so many different races, so many different ethnicities and yet, we all stick to our own cliques. how sad the world has become.
Dear Tom,
I would have never seen this day coming so quickly in my life. I expected to watch you walk down the aisle, become a dad, a grandpa/uncle, and so on. I thought I would see you grow and prosper even farther than where you are today, but in a flash, things changed. I never imagined myself coming to this point in life to say goodbye to you. Things happened so quickly, and if I could, I would go back to that day and replace you with me so you could live at least another day. I couldn’t say goodbye, nor do I want to, it is a “see you later” in my eyes. I know you are in a better place now, and God will treat you right. Last time I saw you was at Christmas, not too long ago but feels like forever ago. I will always remember you and never will you be replaced in my heart and mind. I love you Thomas Flatley. May the angels lead you in.
I will be seeing you one day,
Kelsey.
RIP January 22. 2011
Haven’t Posted in a long time..
so much has happened in a blink of an eye. I lost the person I was in love with and thought I would spend my life with, the day he cheated on me with his ex girlfriend. I asked, ” did you even think about me at least once?” Reply, “no.” My life, my heart, crumbled in an instant, I knew from that day on I would never be the same person again. Me being silly, gave him a second chance, and a few weeks after, we broke up. I felt dumb, I felt stupid, I felt like a fool. and through this whole relationship, I stayed in contact with my ex boyfriend Shane who moved back home to California last december in 2009. Shane makes me happy, he makes me whole, and non of my feelings have disappeared for him from the day he left me. I smile everyday, knowing he is still mine and that he won’t give up on me nor will he hurt me. March 24-29th, I’m visiting him in California for the first time to meet his family and friends and to celebrate my birthday there on the 28th. I am more than excited, because I have not seen him for over a year now, and it hurts everyday more and more the longer we are separated by distance. I am planning on attending CSUSB, California State University of San Bernardino to be with him. Yes, I know you should never plan your future around a special someone, but Shane is not just a special someone, he’s my soul mate. Through all the shit I have experienced, he has been there for me every step of the way even when he hated the fact I was dating Vince. Every quote or story I read, I can always relate somehow to Shane, I don’t know exactly if that is good or bad, but thinking about him makes me happy. I guess things do happen for a reason, whether we think it is bad or good at the time, there will always be a positive outcome along the way.
Shane Michael Bidney, I love you, always have, always will.
Dear Whoever,
Give me the strength to let go. Give me the strength to move on. Give me the strength to love again and to smile. Give me the strength to breathe on my own again. Give me the strength to rise above this and to be able to look back thirty years from now and laugh. Give me the strength to be able to stand up for myself and be independent.
I’m breaking down slowly. The drama drama drama just tears me up inside, almost too much to bare. I want to be able to smile and laugh, and feel whole again. With him, I can, but the distance is tearing us apart day by day when I feel separation is occurring. All I want to do is for him to hold me close and whisper in my ear that everything is going to be okay. My eyes light up when he says he loves me, but the fire slowly dies again. I need to feel again, I need to have my senses back.
I told myself I am happy. I told myself I am content. I told myself he is the one for me. Is it all a lie? Am I saying this to cover up my true feelings, the truth? I want to be able to look him in the eyes and tell him I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but when I am about to, I freeze. Sometimes I feel like I am screaming on the top of my lungs in a crowded room and no one can hear me. I feel invisible. I am beginning to lose hope again.
Please help me. I want my life back to the way it was with or without him. I want to be able to go outside and enjoy the nature, the moments that make me happy, and get through the times that are rough. I want to be human again. When will this happen? Will this happen?
All I want is answers and I am not getting any. Please just give me the strength to live my life.
Yours Truly,
Kelsey.
you take care of me when i’m sick. you hold me when I cry. you laugh when I make a stupid joke. when I smile, you smile. you make my world spin around and I love it. you complete me, you make me whole. I thought I could never be happy again, but you proved me wrong. you’re there for me when I need you the most and I have no one else to run to. I trust you. for the first time, I’m breathing again. I’m finally letting you in.
(Source: hersavingrace)
NIGHTNIGHT by DEDDY
